Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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