Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
