I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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