Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
