"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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