She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
