im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize