just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
