You're so nebulous sometimes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
