It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
