He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
