I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
