after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I came so hard my ears popped.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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