did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
