so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
