we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
