i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
