You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
