i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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