Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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