The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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