That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
