I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
