so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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