She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
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seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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