meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
