Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
