Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
