life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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