You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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