Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
