Me too!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize