Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?