lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.