She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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