i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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