I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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