Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
