I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
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Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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