'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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