thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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