At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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