My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
