This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
