Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
