"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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