Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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