We're facebook friends in real life
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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