Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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