Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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