I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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