i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
