It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
