what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
